insignificance
by PhoenixFlame123
Summary: [Set after Episode 47.] They have Cecil. They have him and they're hurting him, they're hurting him so badly, and Carlos doesn't know what to do. And he's scared. He's so, so very scared. [Cecilos. Cecil!Whump. Lots of Angst/Cecilos feelings.]
1. inability

_ This takes place after Episode 47. It contains a lot of Cecil!whump, Cecilos (obviously), and angst angst angst. If this generates enough interest it will quickly become a multi-chapter thing. Please leave a review so I know to continue. :) ~Phoenix_

**-oOo-**

The next time Carlos hears him is on the radio.

Naturally.

He's driving through the desert, trying to ignore the words slipping smoothly from Night Vale's newest radio hosts - Kevin and Lauren - trying to forget that somebody else used to be behind the microphone.

He hasn't seen Cecil in three weeks.

The last time he heard anything from him was through the radio. Because he was listening from the old house, listening as Night Vale refused to rise up, listening as Cecil's voice slumped in disappointment, listened as the door to the station slammed open and they -

Carlos closes his eyes. He doesn't want to think about it.

He had jumped into his car, of course, raced to the radio station - but when he got there, it was completely and utterly vacant. There was nobody there. There was nobody in his apartment, either, or in Cecil's, and when he overheard a StrexCorp employee muttering into a phone about "the scientists", he knew he had no choice but to run.

So he's running.

He's been circling what used to be Night Vale for weeks, now - never close enough for them to find him, but never far enough away that he doesn't get the Community Radio broadcasts.

He doesn't know what to do. So he waits for Cecil.

Kevin is talking, his voice radiating false warmth and deadly cheer. "And now, for traffic. There is no traffic! There should be no traffic. We are all working, working as hard as we _possibly_ can, and there is no need to be commuting! Isn't that right, Lauren?"

"Absolutely, Kevin," comes Lauren's voice through the radio. Carlos clenches his teeth, recalling the many nights Cecil would rant and rave about "fucking Lauren" and her sickly sweet words and razor-sharp eyes. "The only cars," she continues, "are those of StrexCorp's security unit, making sure everything is fine and dandy for all you super-hard workers out there!"

Carlos rubs his face, his car still rumbling along the deserted road.

There is a rustling from the radio broadcast and some indistinguishable murmurs. Finally, Kevin comes back to the mic. "Wonderful news, listeners!" he says, the cheer in his voice now obviously strained. "We have an old friend back with us today who has some things to say to everyone in the Greater Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area. I know we went through a rough patch for a while, but we're all good now, and… well, he just wanted to say a few words!"

Carlos jams the car to a halt, his heart hammering in his chest, as Cecil's voice comes through the radio.

But it is _wrong._

No longer is it deep and resonant and confident. No longer is Cecil controlling the airwaves. His voice is strangled and dry and shaky, and he's saying words that Cecil would never say, he would never -

"Hello, listeners," Cecil says weakly. "It's me… Cecil. I'm very happy to be back, thanks to the… benevolence of our good friend. StrexCorp. I know that in… a past time, I was not the biggest supporter of StrexCorp. And all that they do." His words are slow and careful - very, very careful. "But after some… persuasion, very - _effective _persuasion," and Carlos can practically hear the shudder in Cecil's words, "I have come to the conclusion that. StrexCorp. Is what is right. For... the Greater Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area. And I _hope,_" he chokes, "that we can put this _all._ Behind us."

Kevin chuckles darkly. Carlos's fists clench on the steering wheel. "Sounds terrific, Cecil!" Kevin says. "You really have had a change of heart."

There is no answer.

"I can understand why, too," Lauren interjects. "Our associates at the StrexCorp facility can be _very _persuasive when they need to be."

There is a long pause. "Yes," Cecil replies quietly, tensely.

"Of course, Cecil will not be able to return to the Community Radio Broadcast," Kevin says regretfully, "due to some internal affairs that none of you need be concerned about. Good ol' Cecil here will still be around, though! At the StrexCorp headquarters. Until he's completely… persuaded."

When Cecil speaks again, his voice is trembling. "Please…" he practically whispers, "don't…"

"All for the greater good, Cecil," Lauren says, "all for _the greater good_."

There is a long, heavy pause, and then a quiet - "No."

Kevin inhales sharply. "Excuse me?"

Carlos's heart simultaneously leaps and falls as Cecil seems to grab the microphone, shouting - "Night Vale, Night Vale - I know you're out there! We can still stop this, we can still - I can't do this alone, but you can - don't give up! Don't let this happen! I beg of -"

He's cut off with a dull thunk, and a crash - as if he's thrown to the ground. Carlos grits his teeth as he hears new footsteps, muted shouts, and the terrible crack of bone.

He hears Cecil scream.

"No!" he shouts weakly from his car as Kevin grabs the mic and begins to speak over the sounds of someone - someone beating Cecil. They're _hurting _Cecil.

"We apologize for this inconvenience, listeners," he says, no trace of false cheer in his voice any longer. "Obviously, our efforts to win our radio host over have not been completely effective."

There is another thud and Cecil cries out in agony.

"You should ignore him," Kevin snaps as more shouts and cries fill the air. "Our… _interns_ are taking care of him. He will be -"

Kevin cuts off with an _oof, _and Carlos can't figure out what's going on but he's hearing a tussle, he's hearing fists and feet making impact with bodies and faces and -

There is a loud crash, a cry, and then a huge thunk - like someone is being forced onto the desk near the mic. Carlos holds his breath and begs the universe to let it be Cecil talking next, let him hear Cecil saying -

He hears Cecil. But he is not speaking.

He is crying.

"No. I will not allow this any longer!" Kevin shouts from further away, and Carlos realizes what is happening - Kevin is holding Cecil down, holding him onto the desk, probably holding his arms behind his back and -

"You are an insignificant ant in this world, and I'm sick and tired of your interfering," Kevin says. There is a sickening crunch and Cecil groans in agony. Carlos feels tears spring to his eyes.

"We won't stop this until you are _fully _and _entirely _persuaded, Cecil," Kevin says, "and you might as well figure that out _now._"

Carlos hears Cecil mumbling something - he leans closer, turns up the volume -

"Help… please," Cecil is whispering, choking towards the microphone, "help…"

"There's nobody out there to help. You are alone," Kevin practically cackles. "Isn't that _funny,_ Cecil? You are so, so very _alone._"

Cecil is trying to say something, but there seems to be something constricting his throat - Kevin's hand, maybe? - he gasps for air and -

"Carlos…"

Carlos jolts.

"Carlos, please…" Cecil cries softly, "please…"

"Cecil," Carlos says aloud, like maybe that will help -

"Carlos… h… help..."

That's when Kevin starts laughing - starts really laughing.

"Oh, _Carlos,_" he mimics Cecil cruelly, "Oh, _help,_ perfect, beautiful Carlos! Well, I've got some bad news for you, bud. He's not listening."

"He is," Cecil chokes, "he is… he has to be."

Kevin tsks his tongue. "Sorry, pal. He _isn't._ We already have him."

Carlos cries out from his car. "That's not true!" he shouts, but Cecil can't hear him, Cecil who's also shouting -

"_NO!" _Cecil screams brokenly, "No, _please -!"_

"We've had him for days, now. And we can't _wait _to persuade him, too."

"He's lying!" Carlos shouts.

But Cecil can't hear.

There is a wrenching, broken sob coming from Cecil. And another. "Please, don't hurt him," he cries, "please… I'll do anything. You can do whatever you want to me, just - please, don't do _this_ to _him -_"

"Tough luck, buddy," Kevin says. "We've already started."

"No," Cecil whispers, and with that singular, cracked word, Carlos can feel both of their hearts split in two.

"He's a pretty one, isn't he?" Kevin continues cruelly. He gives a small grunt, and Cecil screams. "But he won't look so perfect when we're through with him."

"I'm begging you," Cecil chokes, his voice so desperate, so agonized, "I'm begging you not to hurt him. He has nothing to do with -"

His words cut off abruptly. There is a heavy thud like something hitting the ground.

"Carlos has _everything_ to do with this," Kevin says slowly, "because you are in love with him. And we are going to break you, Cecil Palmer, until you are _ours. _And your perfect Carlos? He needs to be eradicated."

There are strangled, muffled sobs coming from Cecil. Carlos's teeth ache from gritting together, and his eyes burn as tears spill onto his cheeks. _They're lying, Cecil, please know they're lying..._

_"_Take him away," Lauren mutters as she shifts back into her position. There is the sound of footsteps and grumbling and dragging. There is silence.

"We're sorry you had to hear all that… listeners," Kevin says slowly. Dangerously. "But it's good for you to be fully aware. StrexCorp is happy to accommodate everyone who wishes to make themselves better humans - through hard work and efficiency and _hard work_. But we will not tolerate insurgents. Cecil… is a prime example. You will not be hearing from him again."

Carlos clenches his eyes shut and presses a fist to his mouth. He tries not to break. He tries so hard to keep it together.

He can't keep it together.

"And now, the weather."

**-oOo-**

_leaving a review will honestly help me write faster! thanks for reading!_


	2. incredulity

**thank you for your reviews and follows! this chapter will be setting up future events :)**

**enjoy, ~phoenix**

**-oOo-**

"I don't know what to do."

Carlos is sitting on the hood of his car, holding his head in his hands. He's been sitting in silence for hours now, watching the sun sink lower and lower towards the horizon, trying to ignore the voices floating out of the inside of the car.

"I. Don't. Know. What. To. Do," he says again, slower, feeling the terror of those words completely sink in. He is the man with the plan, the _scientist,_ the guideline-following, Scientific Method, Step-1-Step-2 kind of guy and he doesn't have a _clue_ where to even begin.

"Oh, my god. Oh, my god." He runs a frantic hand through his hair, remembering everything about Cecil's interruption with frightening and terrible accuracy.

_Carlos… please… _

Cecil is counting on him.

"But I was counting on you!" Carlos shouts in frustration, jumping off the hood. "You're the activist here! You're supposed to know what to do!"

The desert swallows up his words. He paces back and forth in front of the car, his mind racing at a million miles an hour. The radio drifts hauntingly through the air. He has kept it on in the vague chance that Cecil will make another appearance, but he knows it's too much to hope for. Nobody at StrexCorp will let that happen again, not unless Cecil is completely and totally… _persuaded. _

Brainwashed.

Carlos shudders and shakes his head. No, no, no. That won't happen. That will not happen.

He closes his eyes.

He takes a slow breath.

He needs to think about this logically. He has a problem, and there is always - _always -_ a solution.

But this isn't science. He can't approach it like it's an experiment because this is Cecil, it's _Cecil, _and -

He takes another, slower breath.

Panic won't help anyone. Especially not Cecil.

But the sounds are still replaying in his head - the sounds of thuds and cracks and the crunching of bone.

The sound of Cecil screaming in pain.

It's a constant loop in his head and it won't leave - he knows that it won't ever leave - until he can find him. Until he can save him.

He sits on the hood of his car and tunes in to the sound of the radio drifting out of the car.

..._efficiency rates are up 100 percent from last week. Reported wastes are down by 50 percent. The Greater Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area is doing an outstanding job this week! Keep it up, employees. In sponsored news..._

Carlos can't listen to Kevin's voice for more than a few moments. He gets up again and starts to pace.

He's there in the stifling desert silence for a few more minutes before he hears something - a low rumbling from far away. He looks around before seeing a cloud of dust appear on the horizon, heading towards him. He stumbles back towards his car and wonders if he should run.

But as it gets closer, he's able to see it's some kind of black car. It's not yellow, it's not a helicopter, and it's coming from the middle of the desert, not from Night Vale. It can't be StrexCorp. So he stops and waits, still warily positioned halfway into his own car.

The sleek, dark car draws closer and pulls to a stop while still a few dozen yards away. Carlos waits by the door of his own car as a girl jumps out of the driver's seat. She is wearing jeans and a tight black shirt, dark ponytail swishing behind her back and sunglasses obscuring her eyes.

She holds a hand up and takes a few steps forward. "You're Carlos?" she asks warily, removing her sunglasses to reveal a pair of warm brown eyes. Her forehead is drawn together in concern.

"Yes," Carlos says carefully, still ready to jump in the car if this is a trap. "Who are you?"

Her shoulders slump in relief. "We've been waiting for you," she says. "We need you to come with us."

Carlos gives a clipped laugh. "Yeah, right," he says, narrowing his eyes. "For all I know, you're one of StrexCorp."

She bites her lip. "I know that this seems… sketchy. But you can trust us. I promise."

"How do I know for sure?" Carlos asks warily as a man in a black shirt and dark sunglasses gets out of the passenger side.

The girl lowers her chin. "You don't know for sure. But we're your only chance of finding Cecil."

Carlos stills. He swallows.

"Come with us," says the man in a deep voice. He opens the door to the backseat and motions quickly.

Carlos takes a cautious step forward. And another.

The girl smiles warmly. "Get in. We'll explain on the way," she says, opening the door and hopping into the driver's seat. The man returns to the passenger side, and Carlos is left with the open door and a choice.

He inhales and tries to figure out their game. The car is behind him, the radio still softly playing. It's when he hears Kevin's words float through the air -

"_Until next time, Desert Bluffs…"_

He gets in the car.

-oOo-

"Tamika Flynn was a hero. She was also not the only one aware of what was happening in Night Vale," explains the girl who now has a name - Viola. "We're called the Rift, and we're stationed in the mountains."

"I thought mountains didn't exist," Carlos says numbly, echoing what used to be Cecil's most adamant argument.

The man - Kyle - laughs, a low, rumbling sound. "Precisely."

He doesn't know how exactly they get there, but one moment they're driving through a night-shaded desert and the next they're in some kind of bunker. He blinks and looks around dazedly, catching the grins flickering across Viola and Kyle's faces. Furrowing his brow and trying not to think about it, Carlos reminds himself that nothing in Night Vale makes sense, and there was no reason that this should, either.

"We'll take you straight to Raene. She'll be able to fill you in," Kyle says as they pass dozens of people manning equipment and carrying weapons. The bunker seems to be vast and full of people; Carlos is taken aback at the size of it all.

"Look," he says slowly, "look, I'm not really interested in - in helping head up a full-fledged revolution or anything. I just want Cecil back."

Viola purses her lips. "I understand that, Carlos, I really do," she says, "but they're becoming the same thing."

Carlos takes a deep breath and leans back in his seat. "Awesome."

Throngs of people pass them on all sides, all wearing a standard uniform of jeans and black t-shirts. Carlos is acutely aware that some of them are staring at him with their mouths open in astonishment. Even worse, others are staring at him with a strange mix of fear and pity in their eyes.

It makes him wonder what they know.

They reach the very back of the massive bunker, where a door waits - a solid oak door with a brass knob. Viola parks the car, and she and Kyle climb out. Carlos takes a steadying breath before following them.

They push through the door to enter a large, silent room. Viola and Kyle stop before a large oak desk.

"Raene," Kyle says respectfully, "we found him."

"Oh, wonderful," comes a young voice. "You guys are the best. Okay, let me see him. You two can head out. Thank you so much."

Viola and Kyle nod and leave Carlos alone. He approaches the desk carefully.

A girl even younger than Viola jumps off a swivelling leather chair and walks around the desk, beaming and stretching out a hand. "Raene," she introduces herself as she shakes his hand vigorously, green eyes sparkling. "Leader of the Rift. And, yes, before you ask - I _am_ pretty young to be leading a revolution."

Carlos laughs a little, relaxing slightly. "Yeah, I have to say, this… all of this… is something of a surprise."

Raene nods, looking around her office. There are bookshelves stretching to the ceiling stuffed full of books. "I was in the Summer Reading Program with Tamika, you know," she says, nodding as Carlos widens his eyes in surprise. "Oh yes. And we both knew what was happening. Or what was going to happen, I suppose. But we had different approaches to the problem, Tamika and I…" her forehead pinches together as her eyes keep scanning the book-laden walls. "She did her very best. She did what she thought was right. But she should have known that a frontal assault on StrexCorp wouldn't have worked, she must have known what she was -" she stops and closes her eyes, takes a deep breath. Carlos leans against the desk and watches her with interest.

"While Tamika has been building her group of militants, I've been slowly putting together this operation," Raene continues after a slight pause. "We've been infiltrating StrexCorp - very, very slowly, but surely. We have people in the inside, now, reporting back to us regularly. We've even hacked into their security camera feed."

Carlos gives a start at this. "Their camera feed?"  
Raene turns her gaze to him. Her eyes are filled with sympathy. "Yeah," she says softly, "yeah, and I know what you're thinking, but I don't think…" she shakes her head and glances at the ground.

"Have you seen him?" Carlos asks quietly.

She nods but doesn't look at him.

"Can you show me?"

Raene bites her lip. "I _can._ And I won't stop you from seeing, if you want to. But I don't think… I don't think you should see."

"What does that mean?" Carlos asks, trying to force back the panic rising up in his throat.

Raene doesn't answer for a long moment. "We want to get Cecil back," she says finally. "And I'm very sure you want him back more than anyone else. But showing you what we're seeing isn't… isn't going to help."

"I haven't seen him in three weeks," Carlos says, struggling to keep his voice from breaking. "The last thing I've heard from him is… is the radio broadcast." The words send a visible wince through her. "Please, I need to know that he's there. That… that he's still alive."

Raene swallows and nods slowly. "I understand. I don't like it, but trust me - I understand." She moves towards her desk, where she pulls out a laptop and motions him closer. "I'll show you some of what we have."

Carlos moves to her side as she opens her laptop and pulls up a set of files. She scans through it until she selects a randomly-numbered file.

"We sorted through our video feeds and put this together," she mumbles distractedly as a passcode system pops up. She enters in a complicated combination of symbols. It unlocks, and a video pops up.

It's the radio station - Carlos recognizes it immediately.

"This is after the radio broadcast you heard earlier," Raene explains. "We've already spliced together what we found."

"Play it," Carlos says, surprised to hear his voice come out shaky and unsure.

Raene's hand pauses for a long moment before she presses play.

The video is fixed on the door outside the broadcasting room. There is a shout and a thud and suddenly the door flies open. Carlos inhales sharply. There are two guards with eyes black as coal, dressed in a bright yellow uniform and dragging a form in between them.

It's Cecil.

It's Cecil, and oh, my God, what have they _done_ to him?

He is limp, his head hanging loosely on his chest, and he is more vulnerable than Carlos has ever seen him, more vulnerable than Carlos should have ever seen him -

The guards throw Cecil to the ground. His head hits the cement floor with a crack, and Carlos doesn't want to watch but he does. The guards smile sickeningly, their teeth sharp and pointed. Cecil is unresponsive on the ground.

"It's not as fun when he's not awake," grumbles one of them as he leans down to grab Cecil's arm again, yanking him up. The other guard grunts in agreement as he secures Cecil's other side. They take off down the hallway, Cecil's feet dragging behind them.

The camera angle switches and shows them walking down the hallway towards the entrance. It catches a better view of Cecil's face, and Carlos has to close his eyes for a second, because there are gashes all over his face, and he's not moving, and he looks so _hurt_ -

The camera switches again to show the guards slinging him roughly into the back of a yellow StrexCorp van. They climb into the car and drive away.

The video stream cuts to the van arriving at a place Carlos has never seen. "StrexCorp HQ," Raene explains quickly as the guards get out of the car, open the back of the van and jump in. There is a shout and a scuffle. Raene is saying something else, but Carlos isn't really paying attention to her - he's paying attention to the guards shoving a newly-awake Cecil out of the van, Cecil who's moving and struggling against them. He's paying attention as the guards force him, face-first, into the pavement. He watches as one guard holds Cecil down and the other kicks him in the side, making Cecil curl in on himself - watches as the same guard drives his foot into Cecil's gut and his chest and his head until Cecil finally falls still.

Carlos struggles to breathe. There's something suddenly constricting his throat. His eyes are burning, but no tears come. The guards pick Cecil up again and drag him inside.

Raene stops the video.

Carlos looks at her. "Keep playing it."

"No," she says firmly, meeting his gaze. "You've seen him. I don't want you to see any more."

"Why not?" Carlos manages. The sound of his own voice, choked and raw, answers his question for him. He looks down as Raene slowly closes her laptop.

"They have Cecil in one of their inner cells. It's going to take some work to infiltrate their building that thoroughly," Raene says. "We're going to have to train you, it'll take some -"

"That'll take too much time," Carlos interrupts her roughly.

Raene narrows her eyes at him. "It'll take time, but it's our best option."

"No, that's good enough. Let's just do it. Let's just go." Carlos starts pacing, running a desperate hand through his hair. "We can attack them. You guys have the gunpower, we can blast our way in and save him and get out and -"

"That's stupid," Raene snaps, cutting him off. "I am _not_ going to jeopardize our entire operation for one man, especially when we can - "

"We can't leave him in there!" Carlos yells, clenching his fists at his sides.

"We can until we have a plan," Raene replies firmly.

"You don't understand," Carlos shouts, glaring at her. "You don't understand what it's like to _see_ that happening to someone - to someone you love -"

"Don't even try me," Raene snaps, this time low and dangerous.

Carlos stops in his tracks. He narrows his eyes. "What does _that_ mean?"

Her eyes flash with something much too dark for anyone, let alone a girl so young, to have behind their eyes. She turns away from him and opens her laptop again without a word. There is a file saved on her desktop, . She opens it up.

Two guards, nearly identical in every way to the ones holding Cecil, are standing over a young boy no more than sixteen. His face is terrified, he is holding one hand in front of his face, there are bloody gashes all along his arms, and his ankle is bent in a way that is terribly wrong. Carlos looks at Raene to see her looking away, biting back tears.

And he's understanding a lot more now.

He closes the laptop for her.

"His name is.. was… Cody," Raene bites, angrily swiping tears away from her face. "I don't know where he is. I don't even know if he's alive. And I'm putting Cecil in front of him, I'm…" she stops and wipes ferociously at her eyes. "So don't you dare tell me I'm not saving Cecil _fast_ enough. We're going to help you, Carlos, because we know what Cecil means to everyone, especially you. And we know what he can do. But I will _not_ tolerate your attitude. And I will _not_ tolerate your condescension."

She looks him in the eye. "Are we clear?"

Carlos nods slowly. "...yeah. Yeah, we're clear."

Raene holds out a hand. Carlos takes it.

And they understand each other.

**-oOo-**

this chapter is still setting up some more exciting, future events, but I hope you still enjoyed it.

reviews are fuel for writers :)

~phoenix


	3. (interruption)

Hey guys, I'm really sorry to be doing this but I've been getting a lot of really nice reviews and I figured you guys deserved an update.

I'm in a weird situation right now where I'm ending my junior year of high school, so obviously I have a lot going on that is kind of delaying my writing process... also, my parents are not very much in tune with the whole "fanfiction" idea, so I can't write unless I'm basically alone in my house which is rare. So if I'm taking a while to upload, that's why.

Don't worry, I am writing when I can, though :) I have a plan in mind of where I want this to go and I appreciate all of your support.

Keep looking for more chapters soon! I'm sorry that I have to post this, but I wanted to explain why the next chapter might take a little longer to post and also not have you guys lose interest ;)

see you soon!

~Phoenix


	4. inactivity

**Yay, another new chapter! Thanks for sticking with me, guys – hopefully I will have more chapters up for you soon.**

** ~phoenix**

-oOo-

"Hold still."

Carlos squirms as Viola grabs his face with one hand, the other hand nearing his eye. He pulls away again, prompting an exasperated sigh from Viola as he protests, "Are you sure this is necessary right now?"

"You're not going to get ten feet into StrexCorp if you don't have the black eyes," Viola presses. "You might as well get used to the contacts now."

Carlos shifts in his chair. "There's a reason I wear glasses. I _hate_ wearing contacts."

"Man up," Viola says with a teasing grin. "Otherwise, we're gonna have to hold you down and force this in."

"Okay, alright, just get it over with," Carlos grumbles, bracing himself. Viola's finger hovers over his eye before sliding in the contact.

"Infiltrating StrexCorp is going to be an act," Viola explains as Carlos rubs irritatedly at his eye. "We need all the parts. The costume, the backstory, the attitude…"

"Do we really need that much detail?" Carlos questions as Viola spins his chair around so he can see in the mirror. He blinks in surprise at his reflection. One of his eyes is like it always is, a dark brown, while the other is filled in completely with black. It sends a shiver down his spine.

"Yes," Viola says in answer to his question. "StrexCorp employees are like trained bloodhounds. They're just waiting to sniff out traitors. If you go in there as Carlos the Scientist instead of Carlos the StrexCorp employee, you'll be right in there with Cecil and we would be nowhere." She starts pacing around the small room outfitted a bit like a hair salon, rummaging through cupboards and looking through a menagerie of products sitting on a table.

Carlos sighs and nods, still studying his reflection. The filled-in eye makes his face seem off-balance. "I suppose that makes sense. I just -"

"-need to get to Cecil. _ASAP. _Oh, trust me, we're all very aware," Viola interrupts him with a coy smile. Carlos rolls his eyes and tries not to blush stupidly because he _always_ does that and it's literally the worst. "Ready for the next step of your makeover?"  
She turns around, a pair of scissors in her hand, and grins.

Carlos unconsciously brings a hand to the top of his hand. "No way. No chance."

"Oh, come on. I didn't think you'd be so vain," Viola teases.

"The last time someone cut my hair shorter than what it is right now, Cecil somehow managed to exile them to the desert," Carlos argued, inching away from the scissors. "That was not a good time."

Viola bit her lip and crossed her arms. "Well, we have to do _something._"

Carlos sneaks a look at his hair in the mirror. If he's honest, _he_ doesn't want to cut it, either. It's at this great length right now where it spikes up and out just enough without being too long. He likes it like that, and he knows how Cecil feels about it, and it's really stupid and petty but he's not sure if he wants to give that up.

"Do StrexCorp employees wear hats?"

"No," Viola says. "But maybe we can… here."

She grabs something off the table and pours it into her hands. Before Carlos can move to stop her, she smushes his hair full of product, smoothing it out and slicking it back. She takes a step back and admires her handiwork. Carlos winces at his reflection - his hair now looks oily, thin, and generally gross.

"Next, some shading," Viola says, grabbing some kind of powder and getting to work.

Carlos zones out as Viola goes to work on his face, letting his thoughts carry him. If what Raene told him is true, this is only the first step of training. First, they have to pinpoint a look; second, they have to create an identity; third, they have to define the course of action. He doesn't know why so much time and effort has to go into a rescue party, _honestly,_ but - he knows that Raene knows what she's doing. And he knows he wants to get to Cecil. And if that means sitting in a chair while Viola dusts his face with something and crams a second contact in his eye, he's alright with that for now.

When Viola finally takes a step back, Carlos jolts in surprise at his appearance in the mirror. His cheekbones seemed higher and more defined, his nose somehow smaller, and his forehead broader. He turns his head and sees the fake trail of a scar winding its way along his jaw. Combined with his slicked-back hair and now completely-blacked eyes, he looks very little like himself.

He hears the door swing open at his side. He turns to see Raene standing in the doorway. She looks him up and down and nods approvingly.

"Good work, Viola. He looks just gross enough to pass."

"Yeah, thanks," Carlos mumbles, looking back at himself. He's busy trying to figure out exactly _how_ all that powder stuff made his face structure look so different.

Viola notices his confusion and grins. "Old secret," she says with a wink. "Of course, when you find Cecil, you'll have to take it all off."

"Why? He'll be able to recognize me... won't he?"

"Be fair. You can barely recognize yourself," Viola says. "Besides, more likely than not, when you find him, Cecil will be..." Carlos doesn't miss the sharp glance she sends Raene's way. "...basically delirious. You need to be as _you_ as possible."

Carlos swallows. "Okay."

"Basically, you'll need to make yourself look like yourself again, and you're going to have to do it quickly."

Carlos shakes his head. "How am I going to do that? It'll take ages."

"It'll take, like, ten seconds. Okay, here. Sit still."

In one fluid motion, Viola removes both of Carlos's contacts, not giving him time to flinch. She runs her hand messily through his hair, spiking it up again, and produces a small cloth from her pocket. She rubs it aggressively across Carlos's face and jumps back, holding her hands in the air.

"Literally ten seconds," she says triumphantly.

And it's true, because Carlos is now blinking at himself in the mirror looking exactly _like_ himself - if with somewhat greasy hair and a smudged face.

"Wow," he finally says. "Viola, that - that is very impressive. Really."

Viola smiles widely. "Thank you, Carlos. We'll go through the steps again later, of course, but for now, I think Raene is ready to take you."

"Yeah. Thanks again, Viola," Raene says with a warm smile before turning back to Carlos, nodding. "Follow me, please."

Carlos follows Raene out of the small room into the large, main warehouse area. He slept in a room not far away the night before, although sleep did not actually come very easily - he had woken up three or four times in a cold sweat, Cecil's scream in his ears and name on his lips. The cold, unfamiliar room did not do much to ease his fears.

"Everyone here has an assigned job to prepare for the inevitable war against StrexCorp," Raene is explaining somewhere outside of Carlos's thoughts. They pass a group clustered around a tank-like machine, a girl typing rapidly at a computer screen filled with strange runes, and two men inspecting a huge airplane. "Some of us are from Night Vale. Others are from Desert Bluffs. And still others are from towns beyond that, towns StrexCorp has already assimilated, like Littenny and Kestrel Heights."

Carlos furrows his brow. "I've never heard of those places."

Raene nods. "Precisely."

They turn down a hallway to the right and push through a door opening into a larger room already filled with people. Carlos blinks at the familiarity of it - it seems very much like a lecture hall, with many people sitting in desks taking notes while an older man stands at the front of the room talking.

The man is drawing a diagram on the board. He has a graying hair and beard, and stands very much like a soldier, tall and strong. When the door closes loudly, he turns, face pinched in irritation at the interruption, but stops when he sees Raene. She nods, and he nods back respectfully, his gaze also flickering over Carlos. Raene and Carlos slip into nearby desks as the man continues to speak.

"The defining characteristic of any Strex employee lies in their absolute and utter blankness," he is saying. "Until spoken to or provoked, their faces lie slack and expressionless. At the very most, their resting face may appear determined or concentrated, if they have been given an important task or mission. But for the most part, impersonating a Strex means getting rid of all external signs of emotion."

The man flips off the lights and turns on a projector. The group recoils at the picture that appears on the screen, including Carlos. He thinks he sees Raene's face flicker, but other than that, she simply peers at the slide.

"This is an example of a standard Strex workspace," the man says. The picture depicts a regular-looking office with bright yellow walls - slathered in blood and gore. He points an accusing finger at the class. "You would have all been immediately detected with that reaction. While this is obviously disgusting, focus on keeping your expressions intrinsic, rather than wearing them for everyone else to behold."

He flips through more slides of hallways, offices, and even restrooms full of blood and gore. By the seventh or eighth slide, the students start leaning forward, their faces losing the look of utter disgust and returning to normal. They are getting used to the sight. Even Carlos finds himself becoming desensitized to the gore smeared across the walls. He focuses on being able to stare at the pictures without wincing at each new display of horror, without spending too much time thinking about _whose_ blood that has to be.

The man, who Carlos has begun to consider a professor, flips to the next picture and hesitates. Carlos gives a sharp intake of breath because that is a picture of the radio station.

_Cecil's_ radio station.

And it is smeared with so much dark, staining blood.

There are murmurs running through the students. The professor gives a sharp glance in Carlos's direction, and he can feel the stares of other people in the room.

He looks at the picture and he forces his face to be expressionless.

He is filled with inner turmoil, _of course of course of course,_ but he doesn't have to show it.

This is Step 2, after all, and he is going to rescue Cecil.

The professor nods in satisfaction at the reaction. He turns off the projector and the whole room relaxes.

"Strex employees are all about opposites," the professor continues smoothly. "As expressionless as they are when not being communicated with, they respond with intense enthusiasm, devotion, and efficiency when talked to by an administrator. When confronted, they are violently hostile, vicious, and ruthless. You need to be master being able to switch emotions at a moment's notice and without hesitation. If an administrator approaches you with a task and you do not respond with immediate enthusiasm, you will be suspected and possibly arrested."

The professor paces to his desk and taps his fingers against the wood. "You have to understand that any Strex employee working in the headquarters is expected to be completely brainwashed. There are many steps of brainwashing, and the only people allowed to work in the HQ are those who have responded exceedingly well to the process. The process begins, we assume, in the Strex headquarters with..."

Carlos grabs a nearby pencil and scrawls on the notebook Raene has open.

_is this was cecil was talking about? "persuasion"_

She looks at it for a long time before writing a reply slowly.

_we don't know_

Carlos rests his face in his hands. Raene pauses before writing:

_it's possible but don't be too concerned. brainwashing is a very long process, cecil has not been in there for long enough_

Carlos nods. Something horrible occurs to him. He picks up the pencil and doesn't know if he should write it or not, but eventually scribbles quickly:

_how long has cody been there?_

Raene tears the piece of paper out of her notebook, crumples it up, and throws it away.

"...acting as if you have went through these steps is the only way to blend in," the professor is saying when Carlos finally tunes in again. "Think on that process and what it might do to your own mental well-being. I'll see you all tomorrow."

It is a dismissal, and the other students rise, chattering as they exit the room. Carlos and Raene do not move from their seats (and she is pointedly not looking at him). When the room is emptied of other people, the professor stands and makes his way towards Raene and Carlos, smiling warmly.

"Dr. Kendall. A pleasure to meet you," he says, extending a hand towards Carlos, who takes it. "And you must be Carlos. The scientist."

Carlos nods in confirmation.

"I am very sorry for the position this whole ordeal has put you in," Kendall says, and he seems genuine. "I assure you, I will do everything in my power to help you prepare to rescue your Cecil."

Carlos grows a little warm at the terminology "_your Cecil"_, but stays serious. "Thank you," he says. "Is… everyone here planning on infiltrating Strex?"

Kendall nods. "At some point or another. It's all part of the larger plan."

"If you don't mind me asking," Carlos says, "how is it that you know so much about StrexCorp? And how all the employees act?"

Kendall rubs the back of his head. "It's not exactly something I enjoy talking about at great length, but… I am originally from the town that used to be called Littenny. When Strex took over, I was taken in for brainwashing. This was years ago… before they perfected their techniques. I managed to make it through their sessions without my mind completely breaking. After months of working for them in an effort to stay alive, I managed to escape. I found Raene," he nods in Raene's direction, "and we've been working together ever since."

"Carlos is going in very soon, if all goes according to plan," Raene says to Kendall. "I was wondering if you would be able to get him in for some individual lessons. They'll have to be pretty intensive."

Kendall nods, rubbing a hand over his beard thoughtfully. "That won't be a problem. We'll have a bit of a crash course, so to say."

"Excellent. Can you start tomorrow?" Raene says.

"Can we start _today?_" Carlos presses, shooting Raene a glance. She sighs.

Kendall seems amused. "Today works fine. Let's say seven o'clock in this room. We'll run through the basics. I can't imagine them taking too long."

"Thank you," Carlos says.

"Like I said. Anything I can do," Kendall said, inclining his head. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I had better prepare for my next class."

"Certainly," Raene says. "We'll be going now. Thank you for your cooperation."

"Of course," Kendall replies as he moves towards his desk. "I'll see you tonight, Carlos."

When Raene and Carlos walk out into the hallway, Raene still refuses to look at him. Carlos can practically feel the tension in the silence. He sighs and finally speaks.

"Look, I'm sorry about bringing up Cody," he says.

Raene whirls and glares at him. "Don't you dare patronize me," she snaps - then stops. She closes her eyes and sighs quietly. When she opens her eyes again, they are determined. "A year."

Carlos breathes in sharply. "Cody's been… a year?"

"We haven't," she searches for words, "we don't… nobody is… we…" her hand bounces against her side anxiously. It is the most distracted Carlos has seen her yet. "We don't know where he is or how to get him or…"

Then she seems to come to her senses. Collect herself. "We're done talking about this. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter," Carlos protests, but she's already walking away, and he's already reluctantly following her.

"We need to focus on getting Cecil back," Raene insists over her shoulder. "Once we do that, we can…"

She never finishes her sentence. Carlos bites the inside of his lip. He wishes there was something he could do to help this girl, but she is not accepting any of his help.

"Step 1 of this process is basically complete," Raene says after a while. "Step 2 will take longer. It will take time to train you completely. We cannot risk rushing and having this whole operation fall in on itself. We have exactly one shot, Carlos, and we can't blow it. Understand?"

"Yes," Carlos says quickly.

"You will have lessons with Dr. Kendall once a day. Myself and a few others will begin gathering our intelligence and start working on Step 3 - getting you a battle plan. Okay?"

"Okay," Carlos says.

"Okay." Raene finally stops, and Carlos stops at her side. She doesn't look at him, staring directly in front of her and taking a deep breath. "Carlos… understand that I am doing everything I can to help everyone involved. You are not the only one who wants Cecil back. And this particular situation… it…" her eyes go to the floor. "It takes precedence over other situations that… I… may feel more personally involved in."

She looks up at Carlos, and it's like she's trying to make him understand. "I have to do what is best for everyone. Even if that means…" she trails off.

Carlos puts a hand on her arm. "I understand," he says, very quietly.

Raene bites her lip and nods. "Okay." She looks forward. "Okay." She starts walking. "You can return to your room… or… whatever you want to do. Just remember what our plan is."

She turns the corner and she's gone. Carlos turns and walks away from her. Even though most of his head is still running about Cecil and Cecil and Cecil, another part of his head is quieter, now. He wonders if anyone else even knows what Raene has given up for them.

He wonders, of the two of them, who the brave one really is.

-oOo-

**reviews are the only thing keeping me accountable for writing more. :)**

**thanks for reading!**

**~phoenix**


	5. i n e s c a p a b l e

_everything is dark. everything is dark, and very cold. _

_cecil has been very cold for a very, very long time. _

_he breathes in and out and tries to curl himself into a tighter ball. he presses himself against the stone walls and wills them to give a bit of warmth, to give a bit of comfort, but they are only stone and provide no sense of security. there are heavy cold chains linking his wrists and ankles to the wall, and they clink as he shifts his position._

_he misses carlos. _

_just the thought sends a pathetic shiver through him. he misses carlos like he has never missed anyone before. _

_but carlos is not here. carlos cannot be here. they tell him that carlos is in a cell just like this, that carlos is going through everything cecil is, and sometimes that thought alone is enough to make cecil cry. carlos is not here, and he is very alone. _

_cecil has been very alone for a very, very long time. _

_each breath he takes shudders through his body painfully and reminds him of each cut, bruise, and tear that strex has so artfully carved into him. they have used him as a punching bag, as target practice, as entertainment for when the employees have need for distraction. they take him out of his cell and drag him places and they hurt him over and over. _

_and it hurts so very, very badly. _

_he just wants the pain to end. _

_he knows how pathetic this all is. he knows that he should sit up and meet his fate with a lifted chin and a steely gaze, that he should be brave and dignified and not - not - this, not this shivering ball of a person on the ground._

_but it's so hard to keep his composure when he knows there's no hope._

_also, there's the part where his whole body is permeated with aching pain and he's faintly aware that most of him is stained in blood -_

_the door opens, shining harsh yellow light into his otherwise pitch black cell._

_"no," he cries, pulling himself away, because he knows what the opening door means. But the hand that touches him is gentle, not harsh. cecil blinks up and - and -_

_it's -_

_"carlos?" he breathes, not willing to believe it. _

_"cecil," his carlos is saying, relief etched into every part of his face. "come on. we have to get out of here."_

_carlos produces a key and suddenly cecil's chains are gone. cecil stands shakily, clutching onto carlos's arm desperately. _

_"let's go," his carlos is saying. "let's go, cecil."_

_cecil nods and they move into the hallway. cecil laughs breathlessly because they're leaving, because this is all so fast and it's carlos and he just wants to - _

_and then carlos is smashing him over the head. _

_cecil, already unsteady, crashes to the ground immediately, his ears ringing with the impact and the sound of crackling laughter. he blinks through the haze to see a crowd of strex surrounding him, and he sees carlos's face twist and change into a stranger's. _

_he is not carlos, and cecil is so, so stupid -_

_"okay, okay, that was funny, but watch this," not-carlos says, and he lifts his foot above cecil, who is lying on the ground, shaking. _

_his foot comes down on cecil's leg. _

_there is a terrible crack and intense burning-hot pain and cecil screams. _

_the strex roar in laughter. one of the group members takes a shot, driving his fist into cecil's stomach. someone else's foot joins in, and another's, until they are all railing on one radio host lying helplessly on the ground. _

_cecil curls himself up and tries as hard as he can to black out. tears roll down his face and he grits his teeth and he hurts so bad he hurts so bad. _

_he is so pathetic and he misses carlos and he cries. _

_nothing fades, but eventually it all slams to black._

_**-oOo-**_

**so sorry for the long wait/short chapter! I have a longer chapter in the works but I figured I'd stick this in so you guys know I'm still alive. I had a week-long summer camp where I was nannying for a little girl and therefore had exactly 0 minutes to work on anything, so… be patient with me:)**

**as a p.s., the recent episodes have pushed this fic definitively into AU category, but I fully intend to write it to its completion :) consider it an alternative to the actual plotline.**

**see you all soon!**

**~phoenix**


	6. indistinguishable

**-oOo-**

"How are lessons with Kendall going?"

Carlos picks at his food. "Good, I think. I'm making progress."

"When is Raene going to let you get in there?" asks Kyle through a mouthful of food.

Carlos shrugs and sets his fork down. "I don't know. When Kendall thinks I'm ready, I suppose."

"It's been, what, a week and a half since you started with him," Viola says from across the table. They are sitting at one of the many uniform tables in the cafeteria area, eating the surprisingly well-made food of the cooks who happen to have joined the Rift. Today is spaghetti and garlic bread, but - as usual - Carlos can't bring himself to eat much of anything.

"I know," Carlos says. "I know, and it's really hard to be sitting here all the time when I know that…" he clenches his fists under the table but doesn't say anything else.

"You know that Raene knows what she's doing, though," says Jenna, Viola's good friend. She brushes a strand of her light hair behind her ear. "She's not trying to do anything but give you the best chance possible."

Carlos nods, looking at the table. "It's just… hard."

"Yeah," Viola murmurs sympathetically. "Yeah, I know." She glances up at something above Carlos's head and straightens up. "Heads up."

Raene is coming towards them, her face set in determination. "Carlos, Viola," she says when she reaches the table, "I need you two to come with me."

Carlos and Viola send each other meaningful glances before standing and following her quickly.

"Is this it?" Viola asks as Raene marches them through the crowd towards her office. "Are we going? Like. Going in?"

Raene sends her a look over her shoulder. "No. No, not yet. But we're about ready. We need you two to hear our plan of action. We think we've found a way to get Carlos inside Strex."

A little jolt of energy kicks into Carlos's system. He walks a little faster. Viola notices and grins slyly.

When they push through the old oak door with a brass handle into Raene's office, a small group of people has already clustered around her desk. They break apart as the trio approaches.

"This is Carlos, as you all know. And this is Viola, our disguise expert," Raene introduces. There are various acknowledgements around the group.

"We think we have a date set in place for the right time to make a move. It's in exactly a week," Raene says, and Carlos's heart sinks a little. _That is so far away._ "Brendan has more details."

A slender man in a dark suit takes a step forward, pulling a document off the desk. "A Strex employee has contacted our intelligence agents. He's expressing interest in deferring. In joining us." He hands Carlos the sheet of paper, and Carlos scans it quickly. "His name is Theo Gray, and he seems to check out."

The picture on the page is of a darker-skinned man, unsmiling and strong-jawed. The details printed on the page point to a year of birth relatively close to Carlos's, a lack of remarkability or importance, and a general sense of anonymity. An employee hardly anyone would miss. A perfect replacement.

"According to our sources, he's been expressing discontent with the corporation for a couple of weeks now. He's agreed to meet with us this afternoon. That's when we'll know if it's a real transfer or a Strex trap. He's probably legit, though - no Strex spy has been able to find our recruitment agents," Brendan continues.

"So I'll be taking his place," Carlos clarifies as he continues to scan the documents.

"Yes. Theo can give us his security codes, employee outfit and keys. You'll be able to clock in, make your way to the holding division, and hopefully be able to pass for Strex until you reach Cecil," Brendan says. "From there… I mean, from there you'll be on your own. But we can get you that far."

"What will I do? Just walk in?" Carlos says, looking up at Raene.

"Of course, we'll have a more cement plan as the time approaches. But for right now, this is a step," she says, her eyes lit with exhaustion mixed with anticipation.

"Okay. Okay," Carlos says, looking around. Hardly any of the people are familiar to him, but they all look at him warmly, as if they know him. "Thank you. All of you. For your help."

"Good work, all of you. Go take a lunch break," Raene says. The group begins to file out slowly, but Carlos remains. He grabs Raene's arm before she can leave, too, and pulls her to the side.

"Raene," he says, "by the time I will be able to get Cecil out of there, it will have been a month."

_A month._

They'll have had Cecil for _a whole month - _

"I know," Raene replies.

"So…" Carlos waves his free hand vaguely. "How is he? Have you been seeing him?"

Raene nods slowly. "We've… been seeing him, yes."

Carlos swallows. "How is he? What does he look like?"

"Honestly?" Raene looks at Carlos levelly. "Honestly, Carlos, he's pretty bad."

His heart sinks in his chest. "How… pretty bad?"

"You want the details?" Raene is being very serious.

"Yes," Carlos says, although unsurely.

She looks him in the eye. "They've been taking Cecil out of his cell daily. Bringing him god-knows-where for… hours at a time. He comes back unconscious after every excursion, and… and covered in blood. We don't have access to a feed in his cell or wherever they've been taking him, but… we have a clear enough picture."

"They're torturing him," Carlos says numbly.

Raene sighs. "Yes. Yes, they are. They're… persuading him."

Carlos sits heavily in an armchair next to one of Raene's many towering bookshelves. "A month. A whole month."

He feels Raene's hand touch his shoulder carefully. "It's going to be okay. We've taken this long so that we don't blow our one chance. One month is better than a lifetime."

Just that thought sends a shudder through Carlos, and he nods in agreement.

"Until next week, then," Raene continues, "keep working with Kendall. I can connect you with other people who will help you prepare for your operation. We're going to make this as smooth as we can."

"Okay," Carlos says, and he thinks he can do this. "Okay."

/\/\

"The key is becoming invisible."

Carlos is sitting front and center in Kendall's room, watching the older man pacing back and forth in front of him. Kendall crosses his arms, studying the ground as he moves back and forth.

"Each Strex employee is crafted to be identical. To be perfectly and totally indistinguishable," Kendall says. "Any - _any - _type of movement, or expression, or hesitation that sets you apart will set you under suspicion. And when Strex suspects, it doesn't bide its time. Do you understand?" Kendall stops pacing to look at Carlos pointedly.

"Yes," Carlos says quickly.

"It's hard to train you comprehensively when simulating realistic scenarios is a practically impossible test, but I think we've done well for what resources we have." Kendall stops at his desk, drumming his fingers against the wood. "But there's really nothing to prepare you for what it will really be like."

Carlos represses a small shudder.

"I am going to give you one more test. I am going to show you something. I want you - when I show this to you - to remain absolutely expressionless. I am going to tell you things, and I don't want you to react. Internalize it. Keep your external appearance calm."

Carlos nods, letting his face fall into a practiced slack.

"Good." Kendall moves to his projector. There is a small pause, and a face appears on the screen.

Carlos doesn't move, but it takes every ounce of his concentration not to. The face that Kendall is showing him - it - it's -

"This is Kevin," Kendall says, and Carlos wants to hit something.

Kevin - Kevin, who Carlos has heard on the radio, who took over the Community Radio, who _hurt Cecil he heard him hurting Cecil - _he looks like Cecil, but different. Warped. He has the same pale skin and sharp features, but his eyes are pits, his face twisted, and Carlos can't help but think that if pure evil took on form, it might be this. And the worst part is - is his smile - it twists across his whole face, sharp and jagged teeth everywhere, gleaming all too bright and -

Carlos doesn't move, he can't move, if he moves he will die. His face stays slack and he breathes slowly through his nose.

"Kevin was the one to replace Cecil, and he often oversees Cecil's treatment, did you know?" Kendall says softly from the side. He is not being cruel for fun - he is trying to goad Carlos into reacting. Carlos does not move except to look at Kendall and blink slowly.

"Look at him," Kendall says. "He looks like Cecil, doesn't he? Except… new and improved."

It's so hard not to move -

"Doesn't it make you want to do something, Carlos?" Kendall says, his voice growing louder and more agitated. "Doesn't it make you want to scream? Don't you just want to _hit _him?"

Kendall stands. Carlos blinks and breathes.

"Come on! Aren't you _angry?"_ Kendall is screaming now. "He's hurting Cecil _every day _and you're just going to _sit there?"_

_Yes,_ Carlos thinks, and he doesn't move even though he feels like he's on fire.

Kendall kicks a desk over, startling Carlos. He looks at the professor, whose face is lit with anger, and blinks. And breathes.

Kendall collapses into a nearby desk and starts laughing. "Okay, okay. I'm not exactly the best actor. Or agitator," he says, rubbing his face. "You've passed the test. You're ready."

Carlos relaxes slightly and clears his throat. "Um…" he says after a long pause, "do you think… can you turn that off?" He motions vaguely at the projection of Kevin's face still smiling at them, looking away.

Kendall looks at the projection and flinches. He nods and gets up quickly, moving to his desk and flipping the projector off. Carlos slumps in his chair, rubbing his face.

"If you can keep that level of concentration when you go in there," Kendall says, "you're going to be just fine. Of course, we still have a week to prepare you… to keep you ready for -"

The door slams open, interrupting him. Raene whips in, breathing hard, her eyes lit with intensity.

"Carlos," she says, "Carlos, there's been a - a slight change in the plan, we - um - we found the Strex employee, but he was too anxious to leave, he's - um -" she stutters for a second.

"What's going on?" Carlos stands up, moving towards Raene, his face tightening with concern. "What are you saying?"

She looks at him, a breathless, exhausted smile cracking across her face.

"Carlos, you're going in - _tomorrow_."

**-oOo-**

_**a couple of things:**_

_**1) the cecil and carlos in part one of episode 49. OH MY. still melting. 3**_

_**2) I want to give a shout-out to PhantomBowtie, KiddoBuscus, Canadagirl52, and the two guest accounts for leaving reviews on the last chapter. You guys were what made me get this out faster, and I really appreciate your support :)**_

_**3) see? this chapter came out relatively quickly. PLUS the next chapter is even more exciting and (if all goes to plan) a heck of a lot longer. I've been planning the next chapter for a very long time and I think you will all like it :)**_

_**see you all very soon!**_

_**~phoenix**_


	7. incapability

_**this is a doozy of a chapter. seriously. but I hope - and I seriously think - you will all like it.**_

_**enjoy. :)**_

_**~phoenix**_

**-oOo-**

"Are you ready?"

Carlos laughs weakly, inspecting himself again in the mirror. "No. But... yes."

Viola looks at his reflection, too, nodding in approval. "You look great. I mean, you look really gross, but for our purposes, that's great."

Carlos swallows and nods. She has done her work on him again, transforming him from Carlos-the-scientist to a presentable copy of Theo-the-Employee. When the Rift's agents had contacted Theo, he had expressed a need to leave Strex immediately, and so they had been forced to bring him back to the base that night. Last night. Now, Carlos is wearing Theo's employee outfit, his keys and identification in his pocket along with some materials to turn him back into Carlos in a few seconds. Carlos takes a few deep breaths and concentrates on keeping his face slack.

_You will be fine,_ Kendall had said only a few moments earlier. _You are ready. Just remember that your greatest asset is becoming invisible._

Carlos closes his eyes.

"You're supposed to be at Strex by nine," Raene says from behind them. Carlos opens his now-blackened eyes and turns towards her, sees her supress a little shiver at his appearance. "We're going to drop you off a safe distance from the building. You have to walk the rest of the way there."

Carlos nods. They have been over this already, but it is good to remind him that they have a plan, a cemented plan that will not fail.

They have a plan, that is, until he actually reaches Cecil. After that…

"Are you ready?" Raene interrupts his thoughts.

Cecil huffs. "That's the five thousandth time I've heard that in the past few hours. Honestly? I don't know if I am."

Raene studies him closely. "I think you are." She checks her watch. "It's too late to back out now, at any rate. We leave in fifteen minutes. It's time for us to get going."

"Well," Viola says, causing Carlos to turn towards her. "I guess this is goodbye... for now."

"For now," Carlos repeats firmly, smiling reassuringly. "It's going to be fine, Viola. I'll be fine. Thank you so much for all your help."

Impulsively, Viola throws her arms around Carlos's neck. "You stay safe, okay?" she says as he hugs her back. "You keep yourself safe."

"I will," Carlos says, and hopes he can keep that promise.

/\/\

"This is it."

Carlos blinks. "I can't even see the Strex building."

"Exactly," says Brendan, who is driving. "This is exactly how far we can go while still staying out of their detection. You'll walk the rest of the way."

"What direction?"

Brendan points forward. "Straight towards the sun."

Carlos shivers. "And it won't be suspicious? Me just walking in from the middle of the desert?"

"No. I promise, no," Raene says. "We've watched enough employees just wander in from seemingly nowhere. If anyone even notices, they won't think anything of it."

"Okay." Carlos still doesn't move.

"It's time to go," Brendan says, and Carlos feels a sudden cold chill of terror.

"Carlos," Raene says, leaning forward so she can make eye contact with him, "you will be fine. It has been a month, and you have been training."

_It has been a month,_ rings the words in Carlos's head. It has been a month, and he's going to rescue Cecil.

He opens the door.

/\/\

By the time he reaches the StrexCorp headquarters, there is a line of other employees waiting to clock in, and it is game time.

Carlos drifts into line, keeping his face slack, his exterior appearance betraying none of the terror twisting in his stomach. He keeps calm even as he slides his card through the machine and the picture of Theo pops up. Nobody notices that the man does not match the card, and Carlos makes it inside.

Inside, identical employees in yellow jumpsuits exactly like Carlos's bustle about silently, the occasional orange-clad overseer making their way through the crowd. The interior is worse than Kendall could have prepared him for. The air is thick and yellow, the brightly-colored walls stained with dark blood. Although there are dozens, if not hundreds, of employees moving about, there is almost no sound.

Carlos replays the words of Kendall and Raene in his head as he walks through the crowd, surrounded on every side by people who would tear him apart at the slightest command -

_Become invisible._

He blends into the background. He does not make eye contact and settles his features into one of intent concentration. He picks up his pace - _maximum efficiency - _and follows the instructions Raene has drilled into his head.

_The main building will be the busiest,_ echo her words. This is where he is now, where the hallways are crowded with employees (employees with black holes for eyes and the palest faces he's ever seen).

_You need to make your way to the wing of the building they call Human Resources._

Carlos sees a sign for _HR_ pointing down another hallway. He follows the significant flow of people walking down this hallway.

_Then you will need to - _

"Hey! You!"

The mental instructions are broken up by a call, seemingly pointed his way. Carlos freezes and turns slowly.

There is a man walking quickly down the hallway, a man with a huge, twisted smile and evil, evil eyes, there is a man -

"Are you headed towards HR?" Kevin asks Carlos.

Carlos nods quickly, avoiding speaking. Kevin will not recognize Carlos - Kevin has never seen Carlos - but the terror is thrashing, now, and so is the anger - and if he speaks it might come out -

"Can you take them a message for me?" Kevin asks lightly, his smile twisting even larger. "Tell Lauren that I'm a little caught up with things right now, but I'll be back a _little later_ to spend some time with my _client. _Okay?"

"Yes, sir," Carlos manages to reply smoothly, smiling largely back. _Protocol._

"Thank you very much," Kevin lilts, turning on his heel and walking back towards the main building.

Carlos exhales slowly through his nose, turns back around, and keeps moving. He plays through the internal directions again.

_Then you will need to navigate your way to the holding cells. The inside of Strex is like a maze, so listen to these directions carefully. Take a right, then a left, and then go up the staircase at the end of the hallway._

As he walks through Raene's instructions, the crowd of people around him lessens. Eventually his footsteps echo solitarily through the blood-stained walls.

_Take another left down a hallway with a flickering lamp. When you reach the end, go up the second staircase. The hall will split off. One of these hallways leads to the holding cells. You'll be able to figure it out._

There is a sign overhead with two arrows. The arrow pointing to the right reads _Administration. _The arrow to the leftsays _Persuasion._

Carlos turns to the left.

The walls are becoming considerably less yellow and considerably more bloodied, and this blood seems - it seems fresh. Fresh, and messier. Carlos swallows.

Theo, thank everything holy, has clearance for the cells. Carlos fingers the key in his pocket that can open the door to Cecil's cell and whatever chains might be holding him there, with one problem - the hallway he is in now has a whole hallway full of heavy metal doors, and he hasn't the faintest which one is Cecil's.

"Can I help you with something?"

Carlos turns to see a heavy, black-eyed guard moving his way. Thinking fast, he says, "Yes, actually. I'm not usually assigned to this vector - I work in Kevin's unit, and he sent me."

The guard's eyes widen in recognition. "Kevin? Does he have a message?"

"Well, not so much a message," Carlos says. "He says - he's not able to come down today. But he wanted me to check in on his… _client."_ He says the word knowingly and hopes to the heavens his words ring a bell.

There is a slight pause before the guard begins to chuckle. "Well, what a treat for you," he says, thumping Carlos heavily on the shoulder. "Go on, then."

He motions towards the hallway. Carlos stalls, and assumes an expression of sheepish embarrassment.

"I… may have forgotten which cell his client is in," he mumbles, rubbing his forehead.

The guard laughs again and moves forward. "Follow me."

They are about halfway down the hallway before the guard stops in front of a cell marked _NV-46. _"Here he is," the guard says, inspecting the door with a kind of greedy smile. "I assume Kevin gave you the key?"

"Yes, yes, of course," Carlos says, producing the key from his pocket. The guard nods in satisfaction, then glances up and down the hallway.

"You have fun with him," the guard says. "I'll be back in a bit to check in." He walks down the hallway, turns the corner and disappears.

Carlos is alone. Not for long, but for now -

He exhales deeply and puts his hands on his knees. Before he does anything else, he takes out the cloth from his pocket and wipes all over his face. He takes out his black contacts, flicking them to the ground, and runs his hands messily through his hair. He feels like himself again, but feeling like himself is dangerous at this particular moment, and he needs to get Cecil _out_ of there as fast as is humanly possible.

_Cecil._

He looks at the door. _NV-46. _

The key is clutched tightly in his hand. Carlos takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a long moment, trying to gather himself. He doesn't know what he's going to see in there. He doesn't know - but he knows that he needs to get Cecil out. And this is the time.

The key enters the lock smoothly. Carlos takes a breath as it clicks into place.

The door slides open, shining weak light into an otherwise black room. Carlos peers into the darkness and opens it a little wider.

And he sees him.

"Oh, my god," he says - that's all he _can_ say, in a hoarse whisper that barely escapes his throat. He takes a shaky step forward, feels the world start to tilt haphazardly. "Oh, my god. Cecil."

Cecil's there. He's there, but everything is wrong - he's curled in the farthest, darkest corner, eyes clenched shut, visibly shaking and clutching himself into a tight ball.

There…

There is so much blood.

On the ground. And on the wall. And all over him.

Carlos presses a fist to his mouth and feels tears prick at his eyes. But no - no, this is not the time for that. They have to get out of there. He has to save him.

He takes a few steps towards the corner, leans down a little. Cecil does not seem to be aware of his presence - or at least, he doesn't acknowledge him. When he's this close, Carlos can hear how his breaths seem to wheeze, like he's having difficulty pulling air into his lungs.

"Cecil?"

There is a moment of terrible silence. Cecil does not open his eyes.

"Cecil, it's me. I'm here."

Cecil's hand twitches, but there is no real response.

Carlos extends a cautious hand. He touches his arm.

Cecil's eyes fly open instantly and he cries out - Carlos stumbles away as Cecil scrambles into the corner, holds up his arms and turns away his face -

"P… please… d - don't… don't…" Cecil practically whimpers, shuddering and stuttering through every syllable. "P… _please… _no…"

"Cecil, it's me, it's Carlos," Carlos says urgently, reaching out a careful hand. Cecil pulls away and shakes his head quickly.

"No, no, no, no, no," Cecil mumbles, shaking violently. His voice is hoarse and weak and _wrong_. "No, it's not. It never is. It _never_ is. No, no, you're not C - Carlos. L - leave me alone, please, leave me _alone_."

Carlos stands up straight and walks away, rubbing his face. Cecil is delirious and terrified and he understands that, but they need to _leave,_ they need to be getting away -

"Cecil, Cecil, it's _me_, you have to believe that _it's me,_" he whispers, returning to the shrinking form. He kneels in front of Cecil and grabs one of his trembling hands with both of his. Cecil pulls away violently at first, but Carlos does not let go.

"I'm here to save you," Carlos says. "Please, look at me. I'm here to take you home."

Slowly, slowly, Cecil turns his head. Carlos forces back a shudder when they make eye contact. There are massive gashes all along Cecil's face. His blonde-white hair is matted and stained muddy red with dried blood. His eyes are vacant and clouded, but when they make eye contact, they seem to come into vague focus.

"Don't hurt me," Cecil whispers. "You… you always hurt the worst. I don't want to hurt anymore."

Every word is breaking Carlos's heart, and he wonders how many times Cecil has seen "Carlos" come in this room. "Cecil, I know it's hard, but you have to believe it's me," he says, searching for a way to prove to him that he is real. "You know me. And I know you - you're Cecil Palmer, you have this weird thing about wearing purple, you're ridiculously protective of the Sheriff's Secret Police, you - god, Cecil, it's _me,_ and I'm here to rescue you." Carlos leans forward and plants a soft kiss on Cecil's forehead, which is caked with dried blood.

Cecil stills underneath Carlos's touch. When Carlos pulls back, Cecil is searching his face with desperate eyes. "You're...?" Cecil breathes, not willing to believe it.

Carlos looks unfailingly back at Cecil. "I'm Carlos."

"...Ca… Carlos," Cecil says, not so much asking as just saying - just - _saying._ "it's… you."

A relieved smile breaks across Carlos's face. "Yes, yes, it's me," he says softly. He reaches up a hand and touches Cecil's face very, very gently. Cecil still flinches away, but not nearly as bad. "Come on. We have to go."

Carlos starts to move but Cecil grabs for him - or it's more of a fall, really, it's more like he's tumbling into him, and he's kissing him - fully and deeply and desperately.

And this is so, _so _not the place for this, but Carlos kisses him back.

Even when they break apart, they linger there for a few long moments. Their foreheads are pressed together, their noses brushing. They breath in and out because they _need_ to.

It has been a month.

Cecil has been in this place for a _month._

When Carlos speaks again, his voice is very, very soft. "I'm so sorry, Cecil. I'm so, so sorry."

A trace of a smile flickers across Cecil's face. "You came back," is all he says in a broken whisper. "You came back for me."

"Of course I did," Carlos says, brushing his thumb across Cecil's cheek and trying to ignore Cecil's involuntary shiver at the contact. "Cecil, of course I did, I always will. I love you, you wonderful brave idiot. I love you."

Cecil leans in close. They breath each other in for a long moment.

"We have to go," Carlos murmurs, moving away slightly. Cecil leans back and blinks fuzzily at him. "Can you walk?"

Cecil winces violently and shakes his head _no_ quickly. "No," he whispers, "no, they…"

He looks down at his legs, which are bent at wrong, wrong, wrong angles. He doesn't have to say anything else. Carlos nods and swallows and tries not to think about what that means. He moves to Cecil's side and winces because he knows this will be rough.

"Sorry for this in advance," he says quickly. Before Cecil has time to react, he sweeps his arms underneath Cecil's body and lifts.

Cecil bites back a cry at the jolting movement. He burrows his face into Carlos's shoulder, hissing out a pained breath.

"Are you okay?" Carlos whispers.

Cecil swallows and nods slowly. "I'm… in pain. But I'll be okay," he manages. His voice has sounded so wrong for so long that Carlos has to ask -

"Why is your voice so…?"

Cecil looks up and his eyes are bright with tears. "My voice is my weapon," he says. "So they…" He presses a hand to his throat. "They took it away."

Carlos processes this and something clicks inside him. Well… it's less of a click and more of a steeling.

They tried to break Cecil.

They took away everything important to him - his work, his home, his voice… even Carlos.

They couldn't do it. They could never break Cecil. But they tried.

And he's going to punish them.

But first, they have to get out.

He presses a quick kiss to Cecil's forehead and then moves towards the door. They've already spent much too long in the cell, but when Carlos ducks his head out into the hallway, the guard has not yet returned. He starts moving as fast as he can without jarring Cecil, a nearly impossible task; he hears Cecil give little pained gasps with almost every step he takes. It hurts him to do this, but it's the only way to get out.

"Carlos," he hears Cecil say, "if they catch us -"

"They're not going to catch us," Carlos forces through gritted teeth as he turns another corner, picking up speed.

"No, but if they do," Cecil says, clutching a little tighter to Carlos's jacket, "I… I want you to leave me."

"No chance," Carlos replies without hesitation. He trots up a stairway, causing Cecil to curl into himself and press into Carlos.

"Carlos, the worst part of all this has been thinking they had you, too," Cecil gasps. "I won't be able to live knowing I got you -"

"I am _not_ leaving you, Cecil Palmer."

He could be imagining it, but he thinks he sees a tiny smile on Cecil's face.

He turns another corner and tries to pick up his pace. Cecil is much lighter than he should be, but he's still a fully-grown adult, and Carlos is less than athletic; his breathing is labored and his arms ache with the weight. But the sight of Cecil's clothes stained through with blood and the surrounding bright-yellow walls stained with the same redness drive him onwards.

It's when he turns the corner that he finds them.

They are waiting for him.

There are three of them in matching yellow uniforms, all wearing black eyes like bottomless holes on their faces. Two of them have guns. One of them, a woman in front, has a radio. They all have bracing, violent smiles.

"Carlos, run," Cecil tries to say, tries to weakly push away from him, but Carlos doesn't let him go. He just stops. There is a long, heavy moment of silence.

"If you give up now, this whole process will be much more efficient," lilts the guard in the front, tilting her head. "Why don't you hand over the prisoner?"

"No," Carlos says without hesitation.

Her eyes narrow dangerously. "I don't want to do this the hard way." They way she relishes each word makes it seems like she very much _does_ want to.

The guards on her sides cock their guns. Cecil pulls himself up, like he's trying to put himself between Carlos and the bullets. Carlos doesn't let him.

"I won't say it again," the woman says, a snarl fluidly replacing her smile. "Give. Us. The. Prisoner."

"And I won't say this again," Carlos says, lifting his chin. _"No."_

It's at that moment that there are three distinct _pops._ The faces of the guards twist in shock, and then go blank. When they fall on their faces, Cecil and Carlos are looking at a dark-haired girl who can't be older than a teenager shakily holding up a tranquilizer gun.

She drops it when she sees them, gasping for air. "You don't have much time. Follow me."

She turns and starts to run. Carlos doesn't think twice about following her, even though the quickened pace makes Cecil hiss in pain.

"Who are you?" Carlos questions as they turn a corner.

"Doesn't matter," she replies tersely. "I'm just a citizen. A citizen of _Night Vale. _And this isn't right."

Carlos blinks and nods. "You're very brave."

"I just don't like watching…" she trails off. Carlos doesn't miss the glance she gives Cecil and the shiver that follows. "...I don't like watching what StrexCorp employees consider _efficiency._"

Cecil gives a shuddering, pained laugh at that term. Carlos wonders what that has meant to him for the past month. He's not sure he wants to know.

They run down one more hallway and there's a door. When she flings it open, Carlos sees a glorious stretch of desert ahead of them them, and a car parked before it. He looks at the girl, who's nodding.

"The key's in the ignition. Go," she says, waving them on.

Carlos looks her in the eye. "Come with us."

Her eyes widen. "I can't."

"They'll find out what you did. They'll kill you." _Or worse._

She shakes her head. "I'm trusted here. I'll explain it somehow." She blinks, and suddenly her eyes turn solid black. Carlos takes a step back, but she blinks hard again and it's gone. She grins and winks. "Old secret. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

She turns, but Carlos manages to catch her hand. "Thank you. Thank you so much," he says.

She looks at Cecil, whose eyes are pressed close and teeth are clenched in agony. Her features soften and steel all at once. "Of course," she says, "of course. Just stay safe. Just… keep him safe." She nods in Carlos's direction and runs off.

Carlos takes a step out of the facility and feels a wall of desert heat hit him. Cecil lifts his head dazedly, blinking into the afternoon sun. Carlos walks towards the car, glancing behind him, paranoid that the guards will burst out of the door, that it will all be a trick -

But he manages to lie Cecil down in the backseat with minimal movement and finds the key in the car's ignition. He starts it and slams down on the gas, shooting off towards the horizon. It's not until the StrexCorp headquarters has faded completely out of sight that he releases pressure - only slightly - on the pedal.

"Cecil," he says, his voice cracking, "Cecil, we made it. We're okay."

There is no response from the backseat.

"Are you okay?"

Nothing.

When Carlos turns his head, he sees Cecil lying on his back in the back seat, covering his face with his hands. His shoulders are shaking silently, his body racking with sobs. When he moves his hands, Carlos sees tears streaming down his cheeks.

He slows the car to a stop. He gets out of the driver's seat and moves to the back, where he slides in next to Cecil, pulling him into his lap. Cecil curls into Carlos, wrapping his arms around him and clinging to him like a lifeline, his body trembling with silent weeping. Carlos holds him so close, running his fingers gently through his hair and breathing with him. In and out. In and out.

"I was so scared," Cecil finally sobs into Carlos's shoulder. "I was so scared that you would never find me. And I was scared that they already had you. And I was so scared, Carlos, and I'm still - I'm so scared that they're going to find us and hurt both of us - that they're going to hurt you like they were hurting me, that they're going to put me back there and I'll never get out again -"

"Nobody is going to hurt you, Cecil," Carlos interrupts him firmly. "I swear to you. Nobody is going to hurt you ever again."

"I want to believe you," Cecil gasps quietly, "I want to. But you don't know what they can do. You don't understand… the things they do… the things they… say… I can't go back, Carlos, I -"

"You're not going to go back." Carlos presses his lips to Cecil's forehead. "They're not ever going to get near you again." He lifts Cecil's head and looks him seriously in the eye. "I'm not going to let them. I'll die before I let them hurt you again, Cecil."

And he kisses him again. This time, it is slower - it is softer.

It's like a promise.

When they break apart, Cecil nestles his head into Carlos's chest, tears still sliding down his cheeks. Carlos rests his chin on top of his head.

They don't move for a long time. They clutch each other desperately, pressed close. All Carlos can think is _one month _and _safe _and _Cecil _and _Cecil_ and _Cecil._

"I promise, Cecil," he finally says, more serious than he has ever been in his life. "I'm going to keep you safe."

When Cecil speaks, his voice is weak and strangled and full of raw and honest emotion.

"I know you will."

**-oOo-**

_**so. there's that.**_

_**thanks for sticking it out this far, you guys :D there will be much more to come~**_

_**reviews are life**_

_**thank you all!**_

_**~phoenix**_


	8. infirmity

**thank you for all the kind reviews! I'm sorry this chapter took so long, I was on vacation. but here's your next installment :)**

**enjoy,**

**~phoenix**

**-oOo-**

_(He's back!)_

_(What?!)_

_(Get Raene!)_

"Somebody help me, please, he's -"

"Carlos!"

"Let me take Cecil. We need to get him to the hospital ward. _Immediately._"

"Please, let me come with him -"

"Carlos, let us take him. We'll take good care of him, don't worry -"

"You can't take him away. Let me -"

"You're getting in the way."

"Carlos, step back, please -"

"I just got him back, I can't -"

(_Carlos -)_

"He's calling for me. Oh, my God, please, Raene, I need to be with him -"

"You will be with him later. Right now we need to -"

"We have him back! It's going to be fine, I just need to -"

"It might _not_ be fine, Carlos, stand back, get - _back -"_

_ "Cecil!"_

/\/\

The hospital ward is almost blindingly white. Carlos does not mind too much. He is sitting in the waiting area, picking at his fingernails and waiting for Raene to come out of the room.

There was panic, initially, chaos, when he came back. Some people he didn't know took Cecil. Other people he didn't know held Carlos away. When he calmed down, he was allowed to sit outside of Cecil's hospital door until he was allowed in. So far, that hasn't happened.

Now he tries to ignore the stares the nurses are sending him whenever they walk by. He knows what he looks like. He is still wearing the faux Strex outfit, and he is covered in blood. He doesn't particularly care, even when one nurse complains not-so-subtly about the mess he's making on the chair he's sitting on. He doesn't give them the dignity of an acknowledgement.

An indeterminable amount of time later, Raene emerges from the room, looking bedraggled and exhausted - even more than usual. Carlos sits up. She slumps into the chair next to him, pulling her knees to her chest. She is small enough to fit on the small hospital chair. In this moment, she looks exactly like she is - a seventeen-year-old girl who's been going through hell.

"He's going to be okay," Raene says after a long pause. Carlos exhales and leans back in his seat, rubbing his face with his hands. "We had to put him through surgery, but he'll survive."

"Surgery?"

"Mainly for… his vocal cords," Raene mumbles, disconnected. "They… it's very hard to explain. I'm not sure I even understand it. But Strex implanted something in his throat that hurt him to make any kind of noise. They were able to remove it, somehow, able to get it out of his throat…" she shakes her head. "It's terrible, Carlos. What they were doing to him."

Carlos feels that cold stone of rage in his stomach. "I know."

She sends him a sideways glance. "Parts of his legs are broken. One of his hands, too, and a few other places. They put braces in place. They treated his wounds and stabilized him… He lost a lot of blood. He's going to be in pain. But he's going to live."

Carlos just nods numbly. He doesn't quite know how to put his emotions into words. He's relieved, of course, he's shaking with relief, but he's also - he's terribly angry. And he's frightened. And he's worried.

"_I promise, Cecil. I'm going to keep you safe."_

He feels helpless. He doesn't know if he'll be able to keep that promise, however desperately he wants to.

"How are you feeling?" Raene asks softly from his side.

Carlos swallows. "I'm feeling like I want to see him." He turns to look at her. "Is that possible?"

Raene shakes her head slowly. "Not yet. I'm sorry," she says. "Nobody but the doctors."

Carlos sighs heavily and rests his head in his hands.

"He's asleep, now, anyway," she says.

"Yeah," Carlos mumbles. "I just… want to be there."

"I know," she says. "I know."

/\/\

"Hey, Carlos… wake up."

Carlos jolts into consciousness when Raene shakes his shoulder gently. "What?" he says, grabbing the arms of the chair he's been sitting in. "What's going on? Is everything -"

"It's okay," Raene laughs a little. She looks weary, but relieved. "Cecil is awake."

Carlos blinks. "Oh."

"And it's okay, it's - you can go see him."

A sharp intake of breath. "Okay."

Suddenly Carlos finds himself scared. He doesn't know what Cecil is going to look like, or what he's going to say, or -

When he walks in the door, Cecil smiles.

He is balanced precariously on the hospital bed, connected to several tubes and beeping machines. His legs are set in braces, his left hand wrapped in gauze, and bandages are wrapped in numerous places around his head and chest. He's propped up in his bed, the faint sound of machinery providing background noise, and he might not look great but he's here, he's alive, he's awake.

"Hey," Carlos says, idling in the doorway.

Cecil grins again. "Hello, Carlos." His voice is still weak, but stronger than before. Much stronger.

Carlos laughs a little and moves a little closer. He pulls up a chair so that he's sitting right next to Cecil's bed, coughing a little.

"Um… how do you feel?"

Cecil bites his lip and looks at his legs. "I'm okay."

Carlos furrows his brow. "No, but really."

Cecil laughs a little and nods. "...I'm… not going to say that it doesn't hurt. But it's better. Everything feels a lot better." He reaches a hand to his throat and swallows. "And I can talk, now, without… without it hurting so bad."

Carlos shakes his head and looks at his hands. "I'm so sorry, Cecil, I can't believe… I can't imagine what it was like."

A shadow passes across Cecil's face. He shakes it away. "I don't really want to…" he trails off, looking away.

"But you're here now," Carlos says after a short pause, looking up at Cecil. "You're safe. And it's going to be fine."

Cecil gives him a small smile. "I certainly hope so."

Carlos reaches for Cecil's hand, but he pulls away a little - before Carlos can be offended, Cecil apologetically stammers, "Um, I'm sorry, the, the hand -" and Carlos realizes he's sitting on Cecil's left side, and his left hand is broken.

He doesn't know why, but he just kind of starts chuckling, chuckling until he's laughing, resting his forehead on the bed and muffling his laughs into mattress.

Cecil is bemused. "What are you doing?" he asks from above.

Carlos sits up a little straighter and wipes at his eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm just -" he reaches across the bed carefully and grabs Cecil's good hand, holding it with both of his own. "I'm just so relieved. That you're okay." He grins widely. "And I'm happy that you're here."

Cecil smiles back at him and shakes his head, chuckling. "I don't understand you sometimes."

"That's fine, that's fine," Carlos says, shaking his head. "I'm just glad you're okay."

Cecil's smile softens. "I'm glad you're okay, too."

Carlos glances at him. "Well. I wasn't in danger."

"No," Cecil sighs. "No, you weren't. But God knows I thought you were."

There is a small silence.

"We're going to fight them," Carlos eventually says.

Cecil blinks at him. "Fight Strex."

"Yes."

"And who, exactly, will be doing this fighting?"

"Well, me, for one. And Raene. And the Rift."

"I only know one of the things you just listed, Carlos."

"The Rift is the organization that found me, the group that got me to you. And Raene - you've probably seen her in here - she's the leader of the Rift."

Cecil raises his eyebrows. "Raene… you mean that tiny girl with dark hair?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Seriously? That's the leader of the mighty rebellion?"

"She's older than Tamika," Carlos reminds him.

"Yeah, and look where Tamika is," Cecil says, shivering as he says it.

Carlos furrows his brow. "You know where she is?"

Cecil looks at his hands. "She was just down the hallway."

Silence.

"Raene is more than capable. If she hadn't stopped me from racing into Strex without preparation, I would be right where you were. I owe her. _We _owe her."

Cecil nods thoughtfully. "Okay… okay, I understand."

"The Rift is Tamika's army times twenty. We have a shot at taking down Strex if we all work together. You were step one."

Cecil narrows his eyes. "Why?"

Carlos shrugs a little, giving a wry smile. "Apparently, you've become this… symbol. Of rebellion. With your radio show, and everything we heard. And now that you're back… it's going to bring people hope."

Cecil laughs, gesturing vaguely to his crippled state. "Yeah, a regular beacon of hope I am."

Carlos sighs. "It's not ideal. But the point is, you were a prisoner. And now you're not. And people are going to be encouraged that."

"I suppose." Cecil seems almost reluctant.

Carlos gives him a look. "What's going on? I thought you were the activist between the two of us."

Cecil shakes his head. "It's fine. It's nothing. I'm… I'm just tired." He certainly doesn't seem to be lying. Even though he has only been awake for a few minutes, he is already starting to slump in his bed, his grip on Carlos's hand falling limp. "I think… the drugs are kicking in again," he says softly.

"Yeah, okay," Carlos replies. "Um… if it's okay with you, I'm going to stay here, alright?"

Cecil smiles - faintly, but honestly. "That's very okay with me, Carlos," he says as his eyelids fall shut - "...thank you."

His breathing evens out. Soon it's just Carlos and the machines, beeping out the steady rhythm of his heart. Carlos leans back in his chair, rubbing his face wearily. He's tired, too, and this chair is actually, pretty comfortable, but part of him wants to stay awake for Cecil… part of him wants to be there when… Cecil… wakes up… a part… of…

He falls asleep within seconds, his hand still lying next to Cecil's.

**-oOo-**

**more coming soon :)**

**again, thank you for the kind reviews - they seriously make me smile and are the biggest encouragement ever to keep writing.**

**stay rad, you guys.**

**~phoenix**


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